We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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