i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
