Even the bartender felt bad for me
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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