It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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