I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
