Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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