i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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