K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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