My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
