i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
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I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
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Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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