She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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