When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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