i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
