He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
