i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize