She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
