Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
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My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
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Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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