Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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