dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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