do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize