last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
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we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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