did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
40s are totally the cure
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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