I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
