I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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