Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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