Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
