If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
