Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
