its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So vagazzling was a success
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
