Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
