She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize