fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
