why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize