He is such a slut. More and more my type.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
