what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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