So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
