She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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