The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
