is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
