why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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