if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
