my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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