the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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