Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
