Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
