just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
