one two three fourrrrnication!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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