don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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