You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
