What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
