Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
