so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
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at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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