You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
whose parrot is this?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
