At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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