I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
