Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Someone shattered a urinal.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
