I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
the liver wants what the liver wants
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
