I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
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And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
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my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT