she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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