Fuck appropriateness.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
