is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
