shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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