Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
